Zoe & Max a Story!
by TaTTiNaTTi
Summary: This is taken from when they first meet outside the ED during his first shift... & continues...
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic.. it's 'another' Zoe & Max so has some similarities to the show.. some quotes may be similar to those used in the episode's but probably not 100% accurate. I apologize for any formatting/grammer/spelling errors I really did try to make this right but again i'm not 100% sure on what I'm doing so for that I apologize in advance.. if it is absolutely unreadable let me know & I'll just take it down. No big deal... **

**Cheers Tx**

As Zoe relaxed outside against the wall of the ED, inhaling her cigarette deeply, she jumped a little as the new porter came around the corner.

"Ermm got a lighter I could bum"

Zoe handed him the lighter a little intrigued by her new smoking buddy..

"You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette would you?" He asked.

She giggled inside, cheeky bugger she thought to herself...

"You're new aren't you?"

"Yeah first day" Max answered a little nervously...

He took a brief few seconds to really take her in... she was fit! A nurse probably he thought to himself noting the stethoscope around her neck, but he thought he'd wind her up...

"So what do you do? Never mind let me guess... errmmm a receptionist?"

Zoe took a deep breath she was actually enjoying this because she was about to bring his little fantasies to a halt...

"No actually I'm the Clinical Lead around here"

Max almost choked but wanted to preserve his cool demeanor.

"And they make you stand out here for a fag"...

"Yes they make me stand out here for a fag..." Zoe laughed... & they both laughed together...

"Hey what are you doing later, maybe I could take you out for a drink...?"

The nerve on this one! Zoe thought to herself, the thought was just kind of cringy & obviously he was making fun of her, I mean a Clinical Lead & a porter!  
Give me a break she thought to herself. He was still standing there, actually looking kind of serious...

"You & me... a drink? I think I'm going to have to take a rain check on that one."

"Ok but if you change your mind"... Max looked at her wishing circumstances were different she was waaay out of his league... professionally & she was absolutely gorgeous!

Later that day Zoe was working with Jamie in resus, when Max entered to wheel a patient through, Zoe felt a little hint of excitement as he walked in. She berated herself internally for her thoughts, as Max took the brake off the hospital bed & began to push. She joined him as she was headed out that way, as they walked through the double doors & Zoe's focus was on the doors swinging open ahead... Max took the opportunity to brush her hand with his, lingering ever so slightly enough for her to react.

She gave him a stern look to which he giggled... trying to refrain from smirking herself she couldn't hold it & gave the game away, as she walked off toward reception...

"I'll see you later" he inappropriately shouted out after her...

Gaining raised eyebrows from both Noel & Louise, to which Zoe just rolled her eyes knowingly at them to which they both laughed & shook their heads...


	2. Chapter 2

A week had passed & Zoe & Max were becoming increasingly comfortable in their banter spending many breaks passing the time smoking outside together, he made her feel alive again, not always having to talk 'shop'. His cheeky sense of humour was just what she needed during those tediously long admin days...

That night at the pub where the staff always found themselves after a long shift... she noticed him as he walked in wearing a grey tight t-shirt, his chest was broad, he probably worked out she thought to herself. Her mind wandered thinking what it would be like to put her hands on his chest & feel the defined lines of his torso with her nails...

She was suddenly snapped back to reality as the bar man was unsuccessfully trying to get her attention waiting for her drink order... "Oh I'm sorry a gin & tonic" she flustered...

She felt like a bit of an idiot, day dreaming about this guy now, had she totally lost the plot she thought to herself. Putting her drink down on the table with all her colleague's, she needed a fag...

Moving toward the door she took a look back as she accidentally caught Max's eye, she cursed herself as the butterflies danced in her tummy...

Lighting her cig unsuccessfully in the breeze...

"Can i join you?"

It was Max with his cheeky grin.

"It's a free country"... she retorted, as she walked away from him & turned the corner so she could get out of the breeze & light her smoke...

"Trying to get me alone in a dark corner are you?"... He giggled as he followed her...

"Max" she chastised him...

He leaned in so that she would light his cigarette, she got a whiff of his cologne he must have put on for the pub. It made her senses tingle as she looked at him... he caught her look. He had to be quick or he'd lose this moment, he lent in to the side of her & kissed her lightly on her cheek..

"What was that for?" She questioned...

"For the light of course"...

"Well remind me not to buy you a drink... or ... dinner!" She quipped before she could stop herself...

"I'd like that very much... & your reward would be my pleasure" he whispered at the end...

Time to put a stop to this Zoe realized, it was starting to get out of hand & she didn't want to tease & lead him on any more than she had already it was going to start getting awkward.

"Max", she put her hand on his chest... "Can we just not, it's not professional." Before she could stop herself, she had both hands on his chest, she could feel his muscles just as she had been dreaming moments ago in the pub...

He pushed towards her hands slightly & she dug her nails in lightly to get a better feel for him. As she took her hands away, he grasped the sides of her face gently... & kissed her... Zoe tried to pull away, as she did so he grabbed her hands & put them back on his chest holding them there he lent in again to kiss her.. This time she reciprocated with intent & want, feelings awakening long since forgotten ...


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for all the lovely & encouraging reviews.. i'm super happy... means a lot xx Again sorry for grammar, spellings, mistakes & any general f*** up's!**

Working different shifts for the next week, it seemed Zoe & Max had got what they wanted out of their brief encounter together outside the pub.

Zoe had been so busy with admin & dealing with Connie that she barely had time to even think about the fact that Max was not there, him working nights & she days. They were far from in a relationship together & if it did come up & their paths crossed she would enforce the fact to him. She was still his boss...!

Max on the other hand had not wanted to put Zoe out of his mind,she was all he could think about! Working nights was lonely without their cigarette breaks to lessen the monotony of his job, he had been thinking a lot about his job. He had done a few years at College & Uni, for a career opportunity that just seemed nonexistent now he'd qualified & here he was in debt working as a porter, with no prospects! No way he could hold on to someone like Zoe with no prospects, feeling hopeless he had spent some time talking to Charlie about taking a full-time nursing course.  
However realizing his current student debt & taking on another full-time course he knew he would not be able to do his practical training in Holby. He would have to move to London & stay with his parents and go to college & train there.

His thoughts trailed to Zoe once again... their kiss... the look she unconsciously gave him that sent him crazy! He would work forever as a porter if it meant seeing her every day but he knew as with all his past brief relationships if anything more were to happen between himself & Zoe that is all it would be 'brief', he had to think of himself now & his future.  
He felt passionate about nursing having worked at the hospital for nearly a month now, he could really see himself in that role, he knew he would love it..

The last couple days had been incredibly difficult for Zoe, she felt like she was being set up, time & time again by Connie a new consultant to the ED. Zoe had a very strong suspicion that Connie was either having an affair or was leading up to an affair with the CEO of the hospital Guy Self. Every time Zoe turned around Connie was tattling to Guy about something or another mostly overly exaggerated nonsense. It was really starting to get to her, the job was hard enough without having to head off Guy Self & his minion every 5 minutes!

However today had been the worst day of Zoe's career she had been to an onsite major accident & put herself in grave danger.  
Max had gone to the ED to pick up his wages but as he was headed home to get some sleep before his next night shift, he heard Tess informing the day staff about a horrific helicopter crash & Zoe… 'his' Zoe, being right in the mix.  
He never felt so sick he hadn't even spoken to her in days. What kind of person was he? He could hardly call himself a friend let alone the fact she was the last woman he kissed that actually meant something to him no matter how short a time they'd known each other.

Upon Zoe's return she went straight into resus with her patient, Zoe's blood dried from a deep cut on her forehead, but she was ok!  
Max made some lame excuse that he had left his pen in resus as Zoe was about to take a break for Charlie to stitch her head, Max stopped her.

"Zoe you ok?"

"Yeah" she gave him a 'I'm fine' look but kept walking.

"I'll tell you what, now I know how Mary-Jane Watson feels every time Spider man goes out!"

Zoe looked back with a kind smile on her face to which Max mirrored before going over to the side to get his fake pen.

Sadly Zoe lost her patient with whom through it all she had become so very attached to. It had really knocked her, when the patient lost her fight in resus it was shortly after Charlie had stitched her own wounds. Not to mention Connie couldn't resist putting in her two cents of course of her version of events.

Zoe was beyond exhausted both mentally & physically all she felt was she'd finally had enough spending every waking minute on admin, seemingly losing control of the ED. This was not why she came into medicine it was to be there & be involved with her patients.  
Connie was hankering for her job at every given opportunity... Well you know what! She could have it! She thought to herself...It was either that or she would do something she regretted, Zoe turned now to Tash, one of the nurses & asked her to find Connie & ask her to meet her upstairs.

Here goes nothing Zoe thought!

The meeting between herself, Guy Self & Connie was brief, she said what she needed to say & she knew Connie would be salivating at the opportunity to take over... & so it was done! Zoe had stepped down as Clinical Lead…..


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this is bordering on a little short... I'm just trying to get a little detail in without it running into too many things. I hope you are still enjoying it :)**

Monday morning & Zoe felt refreshed & like she had a new lease of life with her career, yes she'd taken a step backwards but this is where she was at her best, bring it on she thought!

Having an enjoyable fag break without the pressure of the entire ED resting on her shoulders, she was soon joined by a familiar face.

"Hey stranger, long time no see!" Max gave her a little nudge...

She chuckled a little as she handed him her lighter not waiting to be asked.

"So we are practically equals now I hear!" Max said with a mischievous tone to his voice.

"I wouldn't go that far Max, but it's a change I was very much in need of."

"You wouldn't be in need of anything else would you?" He winked as he tossed his newly lit cigarette back on the floor... "Not really on a break yet, but I couldn't resist a minute with my favourite Doctor he winked," and he was gone...

Leaving Zoe feeling those stirrings inside returning however much she denied them. What was it with him? Was it just his cheeky attitude, no it was more than that much more. She had been impressed with him since the beginning, she'd watched him working with the patients he really had something special & smart too she knew that much! Not to mention his looks & physique!

Later on that day, whilst in her office that she still shared with Connie despite the demotion... a knock at the door...

"Could you sign this off for me boss?" It was Max,as he handed a few forms to Zoe she glanced through them.

"Applying for nursing college I see...!"

"Yes in London though, moving back in with the parents.." He gave her a tortured look,to which she giggled.

"Well it will be a shame to lose you Max, you really have something special with the patients, it will be our loss & another hospitals gain..."

"Zoe.. "

"What?"

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

"Just you.. Just you being you" he said...

She got up to show him out & hand him the forms, Max pulled on her arm as she walked past & pulled her back toward him.

"Would you go out with me Zoe? Like on a proper date?"

"I don't think so Max, let's just leave it eh!"

At the end of her shift, another knock at the office door... it was Oscar the porter.

"Flowers.. Dr Hanna"

"For me?"

"Yes"...

A beautiful big bouquet of flowers. She put them down on her desk, she took the little card out of its envelope, 'Spiderman' & then on the other side it just said MJ x. Zoe laughed as her mind cast back to the reference he made that day, that awful day. Maybe a little brightness could come from it she thought, just as Max walked past her office & took a look in, he looked at the flowers & broke into a big smile & walked on...


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews, keep them coming I love getting them :). Sorry again I think i'm struggling with punctuation 1st/3rd person the most... :/ but bear with me.**

**This chapter is a little racy, contains sex. I'd say 14+**

Zoe breathed in the glorious scent of the lilies, they really were exquisite. She knew they must have cost poor Max a good days wages.

What am I going to do about this chap, she thought to herself, what to do! He was leaving after all, so why not allow herself a bit of fun. Or was she going to go to her grave thinking of the one that got away, she allowed her mind to wander to Nick but despite the years it still stung, the fact she was unable to give him children the only request he'd ever made of her. She felt she was a failure in her personal life, but took comfort in the fact she knew she was a great doctor!

She grabbed her coat & purse, making her way out the door. Trying to catch a glimpse of Max, he was nowhere to be seen. Outside the double doors the smell of the fresh rain hit her, she bundled the flowers close so as not to have them spoiled by the heavier rain drops & set off toward her car.

"Nice flowers!"

Turning around to see Max standing tall against the wall to avoid the drips coming off the roof…

"I love them, thank you!" she grinned.. "Hey Max how about we go grab a bottle & have dinner at mine?"

"Well that sounds like a pretty shit idea, I'd much prefer to stand here in the pouring rain!"  
He hurried to join her, both of them shrieking a little as they ran with excitement trying to dodge the rain & puddles to her sleek black Audi. Before long they were back at Zoe's place, dinner was a take-away & the bottle was two maybe even three bottles of wine!  
They had a wonderful relaxing time with lots of chatting they just plain got along with no awkwardness or anything. It felt like they had known each other for years!  
Zoe went through some of the things she thought would help Max with his future endeavors with his nursing & they talked through the whole nightmare that was Connie, the ED & how that all played out in the end. Zoe was enjoying Max's company so much she had really missed this, having someone she not only cared about but trusted.

Max picked their plates & general take-away trash up & took it into the kitchen,

"Well aren't you well trained!" she complimented him, waiting for him to sit down again.  
As he sat down on the couch she joined him filling up her glass until it was practically brimming over…

"Easy there!" he chuckled as she took a slurp & then a gulp.

He grabbed her wine glass & placed it down on the coffee table, he looked deep into her eyes before he lent in to kiss her gently. Then moving down her neck she moaned so faintly, her hands moving over his broad chest she began peeling off his shirt.

"Zoe, let's go upstairs.."

"I'm staying right here", she pushed him back a bit & straddled him, he felt under her blouse & undid her clasp moving his lips up under her shirt to where her nipples had found their freedom tantalizing her & then back to her lips. His breathing heavy he pulled her blouse up over her head & continued manipulating her nipples & biting gently until she couldn't take it any longer as he repeated his maneuvers back down from her neck..

Zoe wrestled with his buckle & soon he was where she wanted him, she guided him to where she could no longer wait. She moaned with deep exhilaration as he entered her, she was soon in touch with her rhythm of pleasure bending toward him to kiss him as she continued…  
Max holding her hips now he noticed she was started to just hold off a little from him pulling her deeply onto him..

"Am I hurting you?" he asked in a quiet tender way.

"Just a little ovary bumping, big boy!" she giggled a little as she kissed him intensely…

He grabbed her & gently rolled her off the couch trying to stay deep inside her until he then lay on top of her on the rug, they continued their first encounter… Zoe cried out as he felt her relax around him. Max gave a low exhale very soon after.  
"You're amazing!" he said to her as he rolled her to the side so he could look at her & cuddle for a blissful 5 minutes. Until they both realized how damn uncomfortable they were squished between the coffee table & the couch.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is just a short detail chapter I wanted to put up now. I would like to thank my guest reviewer for the CC and tip, much appreciated! Thanks again for all the kind reviews (())**

It had been 1 month since Zoe and Max's first night together, their relationship, their ease and respect for one another had continued to grow. They mostly found themselves on different shifts, which of course meant that when they were on the same shift together they couldn't help but find themselves in either the on-call room or some cupboard or other….  
Zoe's favourite was having Max go upstairs to pharmacy then getting herself up to the on-call room on the same floor, as he passed by she would grab him and pull him in. Their 'cupboard time' was always fraught with passion, they moved quickly to get to where they both longed for. Bringing each other to total satisfaction with perfectly timed unison it was their secret adept routine. After work they would usually go back to Zoe's and just cuddle on the couch, watching TV until the early hours.

Max was starting to feel like he wished things were not going to change, they rarely spoke about him going off to college yet, but in 4 months he would be starting at St Bartholomew's Hospital in London. He was exceedingly lucky to have gotten a place at the best medical training hospital in England, he had a feeling that a certain Doctor was very much responsible for it.  
Neither of them felt that anyone needed to know about their thing together, before long Zoe would be back to her normal lonely, career oriented life and Max would be moving on with his in a different city altogether.


	7. Chapter 7

**Apologies in advance again for mixing up 1st,3rd person etc, my brain just can't sort it. Please note any references to Max & his nurse training is purely for convenience for the story any factual references are purely accidental. ;) Please review if you have time.. thank you so much x**

3 months later…

"Zoe, it suits you!" Tess commented at reception one day as they were both picking up their stacks of files.

"What does Tess?"

"Being back to your old self, you're positively glowing!"

Zoe had never been happier both in her work in the ED & her personal life, who knew she could actually turn out to be good at both! Her confidence was exuding out of her; she had not felt this happy to wake up in the mornings in a long time, of course opening her eyes most mornings to see Max beside her seemed to help substantially.

Max too was aware of a shift in his usual behavior. Had he really been exclusive to one woman? Basically since their first kiss outside the pub, this thought had presented itself to him on more than one occasion, making him raise an eyebrow. Admittedly to himself he was definitely in love with Zoe, but telling her how he felt would be a mistake. He wouldn't go as far as to say she was damaged but there were definitely some issues he felt he had to be delicate around, which unexpectedly just made him love her more.

As the weeks seemingly flew by, time was ticking for them; they were becoming increasingly aware of it.  
For one thing Max's new let's take a selfie together habit had definitely stepped up sending them on to Zoe, she must have a phone full by now. Their frenzied cupboard time had been swapped for long nights making love from dusk to dawn. At work though they had started to pull apart, Zoe was definitely taking a step back when she could from sharing time with him in the ED. Sometimes forcing herself to go without a whole cigarette to avoid him. She was trying to gain some control on the situation that was rapidly approaching. How would she say goodbye to him? She may never see him again the thoughts going over and over in her head. When she would watch him go by her office always on a mission helping a patient, she would slowly close her eyes lowering her head. It was hurting way more than she had anticipated.

Max was having a leaving party in the ED organized by Charlie a week before his departure; it was all too much for Zoe. She couldn't go into the room as she walked up to the door hearing everyone cheering. Her heart was breaking she went wobbly just before pushing the door open. Suddenly feeling like she was having a panic attack, she rushed to the bathroom and puked barely making it to the toilet bowl. Sliding down the cubicle door sobbing, just fucking brilliant Zoe, you just don't learn do you! She reprimanded herself over and over. Fall in love with him why don't you, another one you can watch leave you to get on with his life while you stay here to resume your one dimensional existence.

The leaving party now in full swing

"Where's Zoe?" Charlie asked

"Let me go find her" Max chirped up cheerfully.

"You can't go, it's your party" Charlie pulled Max back.

"No I got this Charlie; I have to go make a quick call anyway. I'll just be a moment." Max motioned with his phone, taking his leave.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so so much for the lovely reviews :) **

Max saw Louise in the hallway. "Louise, have you seen Zoe?"

"No sorry, thought she was with you lot"

Max made quick work of finding Zoe since he thought maybe she was in the bathroom putting on her makeup. He knocked and opened the door peeking round; there she was leant up against the counter.

"Max!" She turned away and started splashing water on her face. Moving up behind her he turned her around; she buried her face into his porters top and wept. "I can't do this Max."

"Hey, come on I haven't died!" We can see each other as often as we like, it's only London.

"No Max, I'm letting you go."

"Zoe that's ridiculous!"

"You're starting a new exciting chapter; you don't need your past life here holding you back. This is my decision; I thought you knew me Max! If you did you would know I don't do goodbye's and I certainly don't do happy ever afters."

"I don't get it, I don't get you!" Max was getting slightly angry with her now.

"I'll leave your things you have at mine at the door, come by and get them. I can't have it any other way Max, it's killing me."

"But I love you Zoe, don't end it, please don't end it" he was welling up himself now; he wiped a tear from his eye before it could fall. Leaning to kiss her heatedly, only pulling away as they both needed to take a breath.

"Zoe?"

"What?"

"Have you been sick?" he smirked..

"Oh Max, I'm so sorry!" she looked mortified.

"What are we like?" he whispered

"Max, I meant what I said. Please don't make this even harder for me."

"I know you meant it Zoe, it doesn't mean I have to like it but we'll do it your way for now. You'll change your mind, I know you will. You'll be a proper London bunny.

"No I won't. Max don't you have a party to get to?"

"Oh shit yes! Listen we have to talk about his just one more night Zoe ok?

"One more night Max" she kissed him…

"Mmmm!" he giggled… "Here have a tic-tac," as he got the box out his pocket and popped a couple into her mouth as he made his way out ..

Zoe had Max somewhat convinced that she was making the right decision for both of them, 3 years was a long time to make promises. They were both adults and just had to get on with it. Despite her threats they spent the last of his few days and nights in Holby together.

As they stood on the platform waiting for his train to London he whispered in her ear "I've seen what you did to me last night, is that your way of claiming me?" He chuckled, as he pulled his collar down revealing several quite large marks she had left. To which she pretended not to notice.

"There's nothing there Max, pull it back up for god's sake before everyone sees!" she hissed, feeling embarrassed at what she'd done.

"Just admit it, admit you love me, I'm waiting…" He finally gave in; she wasn't going to say it. "I love you Zoe." He kissed her hard and passionately in front of all the other waiting passengers and this time she wasn't complaining. "Now let that last you until you visit."

"Max don't," she placed her finger on his lips to silence him. As her tears began to show, she turned to leave and never looked back.

As she slumped over the steering wheel in her Audi, wracked with sobs. A text came in to her phone..

"Miss you already Spiderman, I love you. MJx"

"I love you too" Zoe whispered through her tears touching the screen of her phone as if it would make him appear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Apologies if this is a hot mess, but you know the score, ;) If you have time as always I love reading your thoughts & reviews xx**

It had been about 2 weeks since Max left Holby, Zoe was doing ok. His daily texts were helping as they usually had her in fits of giggles. After a difficult shift, it was late when Zoe finished work. Getting on for 7.30pm it was a pretty chilly night for mid-September, feeling starving she decided a late evening trip to the grocery store was in order. Comfort eating was definitely helping to fill the gap she was feeling with no Max in the evenings. After paying for her basket of shopping, she exited the store; suddenly overwhelmed with the cold dry air mixed with the petrol fumes of the car-park hitting her senses all at once. She retched as she made her way to her car, retching again this time unable to hold it. She couldn't believe she had just thrown up openly in a public car-park.

Waking up the next morning Zoe felt perfectly fine. As she got out of her car at work, again those same sensations hit her, dry retching a couple times she made her way into the ED. Instantly feeling better once she made it to reception.

Cheering up a little, Zoe headed into her office to get some of her insurmountable paperwork done. Her phone bleeped as a text came in.  
"Morning Beautiful, I miss you " it was Max with his usual morning greeting.  
Just as she'd finished reading it, she felt a tiny flutter in her abdomen. She held still, barely breathing, and felt it again. Getting up from her desk not allowing herself to think another thought, she closed the curtain on herself in one of the cubicles and took some bloods sending it on to the lab for an immediate HCG test.

Sitting outside having a cigarette her hands shaking uncontrollably, taking a deep breath Zoe walked back into the ED. Grabbing the slip of paper now awaiting her out of its slot, she glanced at it and without missing a beat started walking swiftly. Zoe's mind raging as she walked, her whole body quaking. She walked into the Gynecology department of the hospital immediately spotting her ObGyn doctor by reception. Zoe slammed the piece of paper down in front of her doctor.

"I think you're responsible for this monumental fuck up!" Zoe raged.

The doctor totally confused and a little shaken by Zoe's sudden outburst and grave appearance took a closer look at the paperwork.

"Oh I see! Zoe, you come with me." Closing the door of her office behind them.

"'Devastatingly unlikely', is what you said to me in our last meeting. So please, explain this." Zoe gave a slightly insane cackle as she spoke, her voice trembling.

"Zoe, that was 4 or so years ago!" You know better than anyone these things can and do change. "Let me get you a drink of water, now just try and breath and calm down."  
After a few minutes of Zoe seemingly staring off into space her doctor spoke up again. "Now why don't we take a look at who we've got here, do you feel ready for that?"

Zoe just nodded, fear and shock just overwhelming her.

"Ok this will feel a little cold" the doctor squeezed the gel onto Zoe's abdomen.. "Now let's have a look at this little one."

Zoe's eyes were glued to the screen her breath court as the sonogram image suddenly focused on the form of her unborn baby..

"Ok now let me see, you are definitely past the first trimester, everything looks perfect. I'm measuring baby at just about 16 weeks, Zoe does that sound about right?" Zoe didn't answer, unable to take her eyes off the screen, looking at her beautiful baby. "We can see what you're having, would you like to know?" Zoe slowly nodded, waiting for her doctor to move the ultrasound wand around some more. "Little girl Zoe, you're having a baby girl. Congratulations?" The doctor asked it as a question..

"Mmmhmm" was just about all Zoe could manage.

"Now do you have someone that can come get you? You are clearly in shock Zoe. What about baby's dad? Can I help you with that, if you want me around to explain the situation?"

"What? No!" Zoe frowned at the doctor as if to say that was a crazy idea. "He's out of the picture anyway."

"Oh I'm sorry Zoe, I didn't mean to pry."

"No not like that, he'd be back in a heartbeat if he knew. I'm just not going to be turning his world upside down; I think one of us having that happen is plenty don't you!"


	10. Chapter 10

**This was going to be two chapters for obvious reasons but the length was too short, so I've combined them. x**

It had been just a week; Zoe already had her head around the idea of having this baby. She loved Max too much to complicate his life, he texted her every day, clearly enjoying his new found passion. It is what it is she thought, she would embrace raising his daughter. While he would embrace his career and maybe someday their paths would cross but at 18 Zoe would give her daughter the option of finding him but until she felt differently she would not be sharing this information with him.

For some reason her baby definitely had an aversion to car-parks, it made Zoe laugh a bit. Her little girl was obviously already letting her feelings be known but it really made arrival to work awkward. Zoe also realized she would be starting to show soon, she needed to confide in someone and just like Zoe she didn't want to do anything by halves.

When she got into work that morning, she called a brief meeting and matter-of-factly let them all know.

"I didn't even know she was seeing anyone" Zoe heard Louise loudly whisper to Noel.

"Well Louise you're right, I'm not. I'm doing this on my own but thank you!"

As Zoe walked off, Tess called out to her.

"Zoe do you have a minute? Congratulations by the way"

"Yes Tess, for you anything"

"So how far along are you?"

"About 17 weeks, I'm so excited!"

"Wow, so you really were glowing then the other week! You should have said..."

"I only just found out Tess, a little girl!" Zoe beamed.

When they arrived at Zoe's office, Connie was already in there.

"We can do this another time Zoe." Tess looked a little wary.

"No it's fine come on in." Zoe beckoned.

Connie offered Zoe her congratulations, Connie's 1-900 number voice always made Zoe just want to roll her eyes but for now Zoe would welcome any kindness. She certainly needed all the friends she could get right now, even the fake ones.

"So do you have any names picked out yet?"

"I do!" Zoe took a sip of her water, while taking a minute to think if she wanted to share. "I'm calling her Serenna, the middle 'e' is 'eh' pronounced like Henna."

"Oh that's so pretty Zoe!"

"Thanks Tess"

"Yes that's a lovely name Zoe, when is she due?" Connie asked.

"End of February, not too long to wait."

"And the father?" Connie just couldn't help herself.

"Is nobody's business; I'm going to be raising her on my...on my own. Zoe's voice cracked as she felt the guilt hit her. Keeping this from Max would crucify him if he ever was to find out.

…...

Max had been in London for nearly 6 months now, having no idea that Zoe had recently given birth to their baby daughter back in Holby. He had texted her every day for the first few months, hoping she would change her mind and they could have continued dating with a little distance. However true to her word, Zoe had not visited him and their texts and communications had definitely dropped off more recently.

He was trying to move on, he was so busy with studying and partying it wasn't too hard but he still longed for the simple days, the love that they had shared, he missed their long talks into the night, their ease of being together, the fun they had in the hospital cupboards and even the serious stuff.

He'd had a couple of one night stands, possibly. He was so drunk on two of the occasions he wasn't even sure if he got that far but there was no one in his life that mattered, not like Zoe.  
He was doing very well with his training and studies it all seemed to come naturally to him; it was a fantastic hospital to be able to work. Living in London was pretty amazing too, he really had no complaints. Life was pretty sweet.

Max hadn't texted Zoe for a good week, but she was never really off his mind. Reaching for his phone he sent her a quick message.

"Hey babe, what you been up to?"

Zoe reached for her phone.

"Just having an early night.. you off on the raz tonight?" She knew him too well, as she looked down at their daughter finally sleeping soundly.

":D"

"have fun, be good and don't be drunk texting me later ;)" xx

"I will" xx

Zoe lay down to try and get some sleep before Serenna's next feeding which was still every 3 to 4 hours if she was lucky. When Zoe got up a couple of hours later, sure enough there were 3 texts from Max. Apparently he loved her, still loved her and really really loved her.. Weekends were usually when she got the drunk love texts but she knew deep down that those would stop eventually. He would meet someone new, probably a nurse or two. So for now she treasured his texts it still made her feel like they were together and now a little family. Sighing a little she cuddled Serenna close, kissing her fluffy little head and breathing in her gorgeous scent.

"I love your silly daddy and I know he would absolutely adore and love you, just like I do."


	11. Chapter 11

**Apologies if this is a bit boring, it's a filler chapter. Thank you for all the support & reviews with this story, it's really helping me to continue it to the end xx**

"Are you doing anything special for Serenna's first birthday tomorrow Zoe?" Tess asked

"Tess, I've just not had the time to plan anything. I'm the worst. Would you fancy coming round, maybe we could have some drinks in the evening, have a girls night in the three of us?"

"That sounds good, I'll look forward to it." Tess smiled.

Serenna even at only one, was a strikingly beautiful child with her mother's dark complexion and Max's green eyes. Zoe had Serenna in a beautiful frilly pettiskirt and an 'I'm 1' onesie for her birthday. Zoe didn't take her into work too much because everyone just fell over themselves and dropped everything to see her. However today Tess had told her to bring Serenna in on her day off, Zoe suspected 'party'. It was lovely, they'd gone to so much trouble decorated the canteen with balloons and streamers. A big cake for Serenna to squish her little fingers into and everyone had presents. Zoe was quite overwhelmed by all the love her colleagues had for her little one. She honestly didn't know what she would do without them and their support.

Tess went back with Zoe after the party around 4pm, and they cracked open a bottle of champagne, which seemed to go right to Tess's head. They had a really fun evening, quite a bit to drink, dancing and lots of giggles over Serenna doing hilarious stuff.

"Say goodnight to Auntie Tess" Zoe said, waving Serenna's chubby little arm and took her to bed, reading her a quick few pages from Goodnight Moon. Zoe went back down to join Tess, only to find Tess had fallen fast asleep on the couch. Zoe covered her up with the throw and dimmed the light.

Grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge she poured herself another generous glass of wine, knocking half of it back to keep her buzz going, she got herself some of the cheese and crackers she'd laid out earlier. Zoe put the music back on putting the spotlight on in the garden it gave a glow into the conservatory where she sat in the illuminated darkness. It had been an effortless lovely day, Serenna had enjoyed herself immensely.

Finishing off her glass and pouring another, she dialed his number without even giving it a second thought.

"Zoe?" just hearing him say her name after all this time, after everything she'd been through, having only communicated over text and then nothing for months. It made her head spin, she bit down on her lip before taking another drink.

"Max, hey"

"Is everything ok? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Max, can you talk to me?"

"I can always talk to you, always"

"Do you want to dance a little?" She whispered.

"Close your eyes Zoe.." She stood up closing her eyes, gently moving to the music while Max spoke softly to her, telling her all the things she longed to hear, what he wished he could do to her right then. After a few minutes he could hear her trying to suppress her sobs. "It's ok, baby, what's going on? I'm here, I'm right here."

"Max, I .. this wasn't a good idea, forgive me Max, one day you have to forgive me."

Turning her phone off she collapsed to the floor, regret and sorrow overwhelming her until she could barely catch her breath.

Zoe made her way upstairs, pulling a chair up to Serenna's cot, as she stroked her baby girl's hair until there were no more tears to shed.

...

When Zoe got up the next morning, Tess was already getting a pot of coffee on the go.

"Morning Zoe, I'm so sorry about last night, I'm such a lightweight"

"No worries Tess, a day with Serenna will tire the best of them out!"

"Oh she's just perfect Zoe she's no problem, if you ever want a break I'd take her in a heartbeat for a sleep over or something let you have some time to yourself."

"We're fine Tess thank you."

"You're an amazing Mom Zoe but you deserve a break too, the offer's always there."

Max was unable to sleep, he had a feeling someone was messing her around, he'd kill him!  
It was none of his business but he texted her when he got up.

"Hey Zoe, you ok this morning?"

"Max, too much to drink, I don't even remember what happened!" she lied.

"Zoe?"

"Yes Max?"

"How's our cupboard?"

She had a feeling she knew where he was going with that question, and wanted to put his mind at ease even if it was neither here nor there under the circumstances.

"Redundant!"

"Good" xxxxx


	12. Chapter 12

Approximately 6 months later, marking Max and Zoe having been apart for 2 years, just one more year for Max to complete his studies. Zoe having a very vivacious 1 ½ year old toddler their lives couldn't be any more different.

Zoe having had a particularly good shift at work, back in her office she was going through her inter-hospital mail. In amongst it was an envelope that didn't look like the usual official ones. Opening it up immediately, inside was a card from Max. She shifted a look over in Connie's direction, and began to read it.

_Zoe,_

_My old college friend is getting married, just outside Holby on August 31__st__ at St Andrews Church_

_"__You are invited to be my 'plus 1', I'm sending this officially so you will have to turn me down in writing, if I don't hear back I WILL see you there._

_1pm._

_MJx_

August 31st was this coming weekend, going would stir up all kinds of emotions she felt she finally had a handle on. There was Tess though who was mythering her constantly about having Serenna for a weekend. Would it really hurt to go to a wedding for an afternoon with Max?

Zoe spotted Tess buzzing around, it would be way too short notice anyway, Tess would be busy.

"Tess I've been invited to a wedding this Saturday, any chance you could have Serenna?"

"I'd love to Zoe, can I have her overnight?"

"If you'd like, I'm not 100% sure I'll be going yet but you can take her either way, she will love it!"

"Oh thank you so much Zoe." Tess seemed genuinely thrilled to babysit. Now it was up to Zoe if she would go to this wedding or not.

Dropping off Serenna at Tess's, Zoe was fretting terribly.

"Zoe she'll be fine, just go."

Zoe arrived 10 minutes late to the church, Max had been waiting outside hoping above all hope she had chosen to join him. Seeing her car his heart skipped a beat. He bounded over to her car opening her door and offering her his hand.

Oh my god, she thought to herself seeing him again. He was so handsome; she couldn't take her eyes off him as he placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. Zoe you're late we better hurry. He grabbed her hand and they quickly made their way into the church. As they sat in the church pew Max took her hand and held her arm with his other hand.

"You look fantastic." He whispered and kissed her again on the cheek, turning her face to look at him and smiling.

After the wedding everyone was outside chatting, Max introduced Zoe to about 30 people mostly all about Max's age.

"Shall we go onto the reception now?"

"Max I can only stay for one, I'm driving."

"One? That's not very adventurous is it! Well if that's the case, then we can go back to yours and have a few more."

Shit, she hadn't even considered what would happen in this situation. How could she have Max back at hers it was like ToysRUs, and she had recently moved Serenna's cot into her room to attempt to have her close, with her having worked some long shifts recently.

"We could always get a hotel; let your hair down a little. What do you think Zoe? Live a little?"

She felt she had no choice and agreed.

They went and booked into a hotel room first, so that they could leave Zoe's car there and get the shuttle that was provided to the reception. Max booked them in under Mr and Mrs Walker, winking to Zoe and kissing her again whenever he could, always either on the top of her head, forehead or cheek. Zoe hadn't specifically brought anything for overnight but she always had a change of clothes in her car because of her work.

Sitting in a more secluded corner of the reception so that they could talk, away from the loud music. Max excitedly told Zoe all about London.

"They've offered me a permanent place Zoe, the top 10% can get to stay on. Another year left I know but even if I failed most of my modules now, I'm still in."

"That's awesome Max, I knew you were destined for this!" Suddenly feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off her conscience; she HAD made the right decision. "You love it there don't you?"

"Yes I do, but Holby wasn't bad either!" He winked as he leant in to kiss her kindly again.

"Well Max, I think it's time to get our drinks on don't you?"

"Let's do this."

**This will be continued... xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the great reviews for my last couple chapters 'Yay' :) , I hope you like this one too. It's racy. Older teens 14+. **

Another drink or two, and he couldn't keep his hands off her. "Max for goodness sake, can we slow down? You barely even know me now, remember!" She laughed as she slid her hand under his shirt to feel those defined muscles she had so missed.

More drinks, and some dancing they were truly having a great time. Max had now moved down to her neck as his favourite place to kiss her, while they were dancing and clinging on to each other he barely took his lips away.

"Max I've had way too much to drink already, I need to go freshen up". Abandoning him on the dance floor she grabbed her bag from the table close to where they had been dancing and made her way to the bathrooms. As she opened the door he was right behind her… sliding in quickly as she went in. He grabbed her bag out of her hand and sent it to the floor. Pulling her arms around him and kissing her deeply. Zoe couldn't help herself, becoming total mush in his arms… holding him around the back of his neck as they kissed just stopping for air for barely a second he lifted her up onto the sink and continued as he started pulling up her skirt..

"Max, no.. you're not fucking me in the bathrooms, someone's going to come in!"

"I'm not fucking you Zoe, I'm making love." As he continued pulling her knickers down slightly.

"People don't make love in the toilets Max!" As his fingers started to touch her where her mind would soon shut off to everything but him. Moaning softly now, he knew her every weakness.. As he went under her dress, kissing her inner thighs. She dug her nails into his shoulders, somewhat trying to push him back but yet allowing him on her terms. The door swung open and in walked a couple of wasted guests..

"Don't mind us, carry on. Just be a second..."

"Shit Max.. help me down!" Pushing him out the bathroom.. "Just give a minute," as she took her lipstick out of her bag "I'll be right out, here take my bag." She handed off her bag to him so she could just take a minute to reapply her lipstick and gather herself.

"Nice to meet you," the three girls said as they passed back through. Zoe just gave them one of her eyebrow lifts in the mirror, which never needs a response.

Making her way back to the table, she grabbed her glass and took a huge mouthful of wine.

"Zoe your phone rang, Tess." He rolled his eyes. "I didn't answer it; can't the ED leave you alone for one night? Hey but who's the cutie on the lock screen?" He waved the phone in front of her.

"Jesus Christ, Max give me that" She felt the blood drain out of her as she looked at the recent picture of Serenna in his hand. "That's, that's my niece!"

"I never knew you had a niece, what's her na…" Before he could finish, Zoe accidentally on purpose knocked her wine glass over watching it roll off the table to a loud smash.

"Nicely done, Spiderman." He laughed… "Let me go get you another…"

Zoe sat down, trembling. How could she have been so stupid she might as well have put a banner on it saying, 'I am your daughter,' she berated herself. Thankfully he seemed to have bought her lie.

He made his way back to her with her red wine and she drank it readily. "Max I'm going to just go call Tess, there might be a problem I can help her with, one sec." She took her leave and went outside lighting up a cigarette.

"Tess, everything ok?"

"Yes Zoe, sorry I didn't' mean to worry you. I just thought you'd like to say goodnight to Serenna. Are you having a lovely time?"

"Great time Tess, thank you so much for this, is she being good?"

"She's wonderful, here she is"

"Hey baby, be a good girl for Auntie Tess. I miss you baby girl, night night xx" She blew kisses down the phone as she hung up. Finishing off her cigarette she just wanted to bail at this point and get back home to her daughter.

Going back inside she spotted Max across the way, he was chatting with a group of people. She could see that even though he was with them he was constantly looking around for her. Her heart ached to be near him suddenly. Before she knew it she was back with him, his arm tightly around her waist.

"Let's say we get out of here.. Ready?" He asked her.

Back at the hotel, it was Zoe that quickly took charge barely making it through the door; she was pulling at his shirt. Unable to take her lips from his. Max held her away from him for a minute and turned her around, unzipping her dress until it fell to the floor, he picked her up and took her over to the bed.

"Zoe I've missed you so much!" Laying over her, kissing her all over. Her moans were soft. He got back up to take off the rest of his clothes. She looked at him in the moonlight he was so beautiful, as he joined her again. Taking his time, he went to all her places he knew would drive her crazy. She felt his hardness, digging her nails into his torso bringing him close, he entered her hard, as she gasped just one movement and she came, kissing him deeply as he continued.. soon her mind cleared.

"Max, stop.." she started pushing his hips away from her.. "Max we have to use something!"

"Use something?" He breathed kissing her again, "like toys?" he giggled under his breath.

"A condom Max, please stop" He slowly pulled out of her, resting himself still close, kissing her feverishly and pushing again slightly.

"Max do you have one?" He started to reach down for his wallet.

"_Fire & Ice_!" He handed it to her as she kissed him again, building their passion back up.

"That was crazy Max, I'm never going back" she laughed at his face as she examined the wrapper from the condom!

"It would have been just as good without it, better..." he tickled her.

They started kissing again and shortly he was already ready to get back to it, he was inside her again. She knew she was playing a dangerous game, but he felt so good.

"Max, rogue sperm!"

Now he had the complete giggles, "Rogue Sperm, Zoe?" He pulled gently out of her again… unable to stop with the giggles… "You're just addicted to Fire & Ice, I've created a monster" He gave her another condom, which she could hardly get on him fast enough.

"We have so much fun, I still love you, you know that don't you!" She was shaking in trepidation, as he entered her more gently in an attempt to try and make love to her despite the sensations the condom was creating making her more in the 'fuck me' mood. As they climaxed, she reached up to pull him close for a lustful kiss, as she sighed. He heard it, she finally said it.

"I love you Max" barely a whisper.

As he nestled to spoon with her, he realized she was trembling, holding her closely. "I just got carried away."

"Zoe it's ok for you to say, you love me. For goodness sake, it's a good job I don't know who fucked you up like this, he wouldn't be still walking."

"Max don't, you don't know the circumstances, just drop it please."

At that moment Max made himself a promise, he was going to go back for her. Unbeknownst to him his decision was going to astronomically change everything he knew as his reality.

When Zoe arrived at Tess's early the next morning to pick up Serenna, as soon as Tess opened the door Zoe just burst into floods of tears.

"Zoe, what's the matter!" Tess looked around to see if perhaps something had happened outside her place, as she huddled Zoe inside.

"I've been with her Dad, Tess. I love him so much it hurts so bad. Please don't tell anyone."

"Zoe you know me better than that." At that moment, Zoe heard her daughter..

"Mamma"

"Come here my little booger, how I have missed you!" Zoe picked Serenna up and swung her around into a big hug, kissing her chubby little cheeks.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing Tess, that decision was made a long time ago."

"Well you love him, and you are clearly unhappy. Is he married?"

"No Tess, it's just complicated"

"He does know about Serenna?"

"No, no he doesn't know." As Zoe looked at her daughter with Max's eyes looking back at her, she started to weep again.

"Oh Zoe, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" Tess got up to hug both Serenna and Zoe, holding them until Zoe was ready to let go.


	14. Chapter 14

**Final Chapter, thank you all again .. I can't say how much I've appreciated all the kindness from this... x**

It was early May and Max invited Zoe to his graduation party but she refused saying she was working double shifts.  
Having turned down his position in London, he found himself now looking across at Connie in the ED.

"Ah yes Max, nice to see you again. Shall we?" She gestured toward her office.

"So you are looking to fill the position we have, I looked through your resume and credentials, very impressive. I see you turned down a position in the hopes of working back here in Holby?" As she looked up at him, she saw him distractedly looking over at Zoe's desk, as she followed his gaze... "Oh Max you won't have met our little ED Princess yet." She smiled as she nodded toward Zoe's desk and the plethora of pictures of Serenna.

"Zoe's niece?" Max said a little confused.

"She isn't Zoe's niece, Serenna is Zoe's daughter."

Zoe had been stood in the doorway, unable to breath. Mesmerized by the nightmare, train wreck unfolding before her. What was he even doing here? Connie for Christ's sake stop... but she couldn't say any of it, she just had to watch.

"Hhhow old is she?" Max stammered trying to keep his composure in front of Connie.

"She's 2 1/4 Max" Zoe exclaimed, making both Connie and Max jump a little, not making eye contact with him, biting her lip so hard it bled. She walked over to her desk and picked up a picture of Serenna on her 2nd birthday and handed it to him.

"Zoe, don't do this to me." As Max looked down at the photo, his throat aching, a sob escaped as tears filled his eyes, gently touching the picture.

"Is everything alright here?" Connie was sat there, not knowing what was going on with the picture.

Max chocked as he went to speak "Connie, I think you've just told me I have a daughter! Is that right Zoe?" His voice was soft as he spoke, but Zoe did not reply, she stood firm by the window her gaze not even in the same room.

"Oh I see, yes actually, she definitely has your eyes," as Connie looked at him. "Well I'll leave you two alone it looks like you have some very much needed catching up to do, and Max if you want it, it's yours, so long as we can keep it professional," she motioned toward Zoe. Not waiting for an answer Connie made her way around the blinds twisting them shut and then left them alone.

Max got up, moving over to Zoe's desk. He took each picture and carefully lined them up in order with Serenna's newborn picture first. "I've missed so much Zoe; you were never going to tell me about her were you?"

Still not able to look at him, feeling like a stranger in her own office, she went and sat in Connie's chair. "I did what was best Max, I found out 2 weeks after you left. You'd moved on!"

"It was London Zoe; you make it sound like I was on an expedition to the moon! This is just more of your fucked up behavior but this time you've dragged our daughter into it," he said bitterly. "Did you ever stop to consider I may actually want my life to be here with you?" He was holding one of the pictures again, "tell me her name."

"Serenna Jane Hanna, Jane is so she had some part of you Max, but she is so much like you."

"Am I even on her birth certificate?"

"Of course you are, I would never have denied her getting to know you, when she was old enough."

"Did you plan this all along Zoe? Perfect sperm donor, no strings!"

"Max how can you even say that, do you know what it's like looking into her eyes, seeing you every time I look at her, it kills me! Many years ago I was told I would never have children. I spend a couple of amazing months with you and I'm pregnant, but I swear to you I didn't know until you'd gone. You sounded like you were having such a great life there, how could I tell you?"

"Well that's where you and I will never agree, no matter what, I would have wanted this more than you'll ever know."

"Me too Max." Zoe was weeping now.

"I'm coming back here to work Zoe; I wanted to be close to you again. To see if we could maybe make it work but I don't even know you!"

"I'm sorry Max, I am extremely sorry. I know it sounds so lame but there are just no words. If you only knew how I felt about you, you may actually forgive me some day."

"Try me!"

"What?"

"Tell me how you feel about me."

"Max you know how I feel about you, I love you, I love you to the moon and back!"

He went over to where she was sitting and pulled her up from the chair, he moved the hair out of her eye and kissed her gently on her cheek. "Ditto."

"Would you like to go meet your daughter Max?".

"This is surreal but yes, yes more than anything."

As they made their way out of the ED. Max whispered in Connie's ear as he was leaving. "I'll take it!"

"Welcome back Max, have a good night you two." She called out.

As Max went to the door of the babysitters, hand in hand with Zoe, he spotted his little girl out in the garden.

"Mamma" Serenna went running up to Zoe hugging her.

"Serenna baby, this is daddy. Can you say hi daddy?"

"Hi daddy, Serenna shrieked before hiding behind Zoe's legs, peeking back out at Max.

"Hi Serenna, you know your Mummy gave you such a pretty name but you are even prettier, are you sure you aren't a princess?"

Serenna giggled "daddy silly!"

"Yes, yes he is," Zoe said in her best sarcastic tone. "How about we all go out for dinner, does that sound good Serenna?"

"Yep"

Zoe took a glance at Max; he had tears running down his face as he tried to compose himself. "Zoe she's so much like you and me! I'm so in love, with both of you."

Zoe held Serenna's hand tightly as she put her other arm around Max and they made their way to the car. After Serenna was all buckled in, before Zoe could start the engine, Max turned to her, "fresh start Zoe?"

"I'd very much like to take you up on that," she smiled at him gratefully and Max leaned in to kiss her resolutely.

"How about we go home and make another?"

"Max!"

"Happy, happy ever after Zoe."

**That's a wrap, thanks so much for reading to the end, sorry if it was a cheezy ending but it had to be. :)**


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